townies
2.
lance bass is in the bathroom. he has ‘bad gas’ from his dinner which consisted of hot dogs, beans, christmas candy, and michalob light. lance bass farts kind of loudly and hopes that the drone of the bathroom's ventilation fan will obscure the sound. lance bass flushes the toilet to makes things seem ‘normal’ and ‘natural.’ he feels bad wasting water, but.
when lance bass leaves the bathroom, jc chasez is on the phone with nelly. lance bass sits down next to jc and realizes he has to pee. he has to pee kind of badly but cannot go back to the bathroom because he was just there and that would seem abnormal. lance bass hears nelly’s voice through the phone and is excited.
a little later nelly comes over. he is wearing a white, embroidered LGR jacket and chewing gum.
lance bass talks to nelly for a while, ignoring the 'cranium' game and the yelling of britney spears and mariah carey. lance bass says a lot of things about economics being a social activity and a way to think about existence. nelly, texting and not really listening, agrees. lance bass frowns a little.
lance bass’s crotch pulses with slightly painful pressure. ‘i am being practical and patient’ says a voice in lance bass’s head.
lance bass wants to ask nelly where ashanti is but isn’t sure if they are still together or not, so he doesn’t say anything else but instead plays with his pinky finger and jiggles his right leg.
after lance bass thinks enough time has passed, he goes back to the bathroom.
in the bathroom lance bass carefully turns on the light and fan and locks the door. lance bass stands over the toilet, lifts the seat, inhales, and starts peeing into the toilet. it feels good and lance bass exhales, releasing an "oh yeah" as if not two words but a single noise. he has had, like, six miller high life’s already, plus the michelobs with dinner. 'i am doing something' thinks lance bass, 'doing something natural that feels good.'
lance bass flushes the toilet before he is finished peeing, timing the flush with the end of his piss so that they will occur simultaneously. he almost always does this. but after all the water has swirled away, lance bass is still peeing. lance bass feels distressed.
all words copyright zachary zimmermann, 2009