some words

townies

fred durst shows up with a woman who wasn’t famous 8 to 10 years ago, and no one is sure if they should hug her or not, but everyone is pretty drunk, so.

lance bass looks at mandy moore and smiles. lance bass’s voice in lance bass’s head says, ‘i told you so.’ mandy moore gives lance bass ‘a dirty look’ and they make prolonged eye contact. lance bass feels better about fred durst being there.

for a while everyone continues playing ‘cranium.’ fred durst kind of gets into it, then makes a joke about how stupid it is that everyone is playing ‘cranium.’ everyone laughs. everyone has excited expressions on their faces. nobody says anything.

lance bass reiterates the fact that he has marijuana for everyone to smoke.

lance bass ‘packs a bowl’ and everyone gets high.

fred durst displays a blunt that he’s been waiting to “use up” and everyone smokes more.

after the blunt is finished mariah carey and britney spears leave.

lance bass goes to the bathroom and pees again.

lance bass opens another miller high life. he, jc chasez, mandy moore, and missy elliott are standing around the bar. missy elliott says that it isn’t funny britney spears actually can’t read and that it’s an actual problem. they all laugh because what makes it funny is that it really isn’t funny. then nelly yells something about where mariah and britney could possibly be going and everyone laughs some more.

lance bass can’t stop laughing and giggling. he wonders if he is laughing or giggling. he hopes he is laughing; he wishes he were more stoic. lance bass makes many facial expressions to show everyone that he isn’t that high, or maybe that he isn’t even high at all. he drinks more beer. lance bass thinks about how he always ends up in uncomfortable situations. he cannot find a voice in his head that is his own. he wonders if the things he says are even related or relevant to what everyone else is saying. to comfort himself, lance bass thinks, ‘i will write about this tomorrow and then it will be worth the time and anxiety. it will be funny, especially the part about britney drinking brandy from a sippy cup.’ lance bass feels a little better about wishing a machine gun would hover over him and shoot hundreds of bullets into his arms and legs. he wishes he could somehow numbly feel each bullet rip through him and then wake up the next morning as a better person or something. lance bass is aware of the odd smile that has been on his face too long and looks away at something on the wall, inspecting it profoundly.

lance bass drives high and drunk. he drops jc chasez, mandy moore, and carmen electra off at their homes then drives to his parents’ house. lance bass warms up a hot dog and beans and drinks half a michalob light before falling asleep.

in the morning lance bass feels like a piece of shit.

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